Beneficiary Revenge (or Get that Shit away from me)

Not in my name, not for my healing, not because you think I deserve justice and somehow you’re qualified to dole it out. I’m talking about revenge in behalf of others. How many people offer to break the legs of the guy who assaulted me? A few. Would it accomplish anything? No. When we see […]

Writing After Hiatus

I have nicknamed March “Sobbing Writers Month”, in which I am planning to do what I am calling an “Intensive”. It is my intent to immerse myself in my novel universe and reclaim it. It is hard to pinpoint when I stopped writing, but the halt was solidified after an assault, which I have addressed […]

Recovery & Catching Up

When you are in the middle of coping you forget all the things that you can do to make life run smoothly. It’ s four years post psychosis and a few years past the assaults and abusive relationship which followed. I remember in my early recovery that I read or heard in a podcast that […]

Monumental Shift

I did a spell of transformation. It was successful. I have inverted my motivation matrix. “I cannot write because of him” has become “I will create so much and love so loudly that my pain from him will become nothing but a whimper in comparison to the stream of creation I will spew out”. I […]

Power & Consent in Mental Health

This is a post about mental illness and medication. When I was sick, really sick, my consent kind of fell away. I did as I was told because I knew it was the only way out and back to freedom. Sometimes, it’s the doctors job to tell you really bad news, like, if you want […]

Nomadic Polyamory

When I google Nomadic Polyamory, it brings up tales of world travelers, finding love in corners of the earth when our presence there is fleeting. That is not what I mean by Nomadic Polyamory, but it is a phrase I have started to casually use as the best descriptor I can find of my current […]

The shift from Victim to Survivor

It’s not a straightforward transition and no one should rush you through it. I believe I have finally made this crucial shift and so will share what I know of it. First off, no one call tell you that you are a victim or survivor, as they can not know what you are experiencing internally […]