Dystopia Daydreams

I have had to overcome fear of my creativity. At one point I was with someone who strangled and tortured me hoping to know more of my creative insights. It was not an attempted murder but it felt like I survived murder as it instilled in me fear that this person had the power to […]

Beneficiary Revenge (or Get that Shit away from me)

Not in my name, not for my healing, not because you think I deserve justice and somehow you’re qualified to dole it out. I’m talking about revenge in behalf of others. How many people offer to break the legs of the guy who assaulted me? A few. Would it accomplish anything? No. When we see […]

Power & Consent in Mental Health

This is a post about mental illness and medication. When I was sick, really sick, my consent kind of fell away. I did as I was told because I knew it was the only way out and back to freedom. Sometimes, it’s the doctors job to tell you really bad news, like, if you want […]

On Free Will & Influence

To be reducee to a series of reactions has compelling and problematic effects. Prediction gets in the way of choice. Provocation superseeds your autonomy. Energy drains prevent action.  As a writer, process interupted, sickness lingers.  As a lover, emotions stir, rise out. Our acts to troll are attempts to confine and control; ellude definition, break […]

Reverse Glorification

How much of dogma is currpted magik with pure intentions. To move backwards through the meanings of things like power and control, how do we claim it without purpetuating backwards that we know.  The world made me feel helpless, so I asked my lovers to also instill this feeling. It was a darkness that out […]

Privacy & Integration

For a while there, my own reflection on my Instagram page was what gave me hope. A selfie to celebrate waking up and a moment to bask in the glory of my gender fuckery when the mascara darkening  my cursed moustache was perfectly applied. Of course, this testament to my own hope was open because […]

it was unjust

You can feel it, the unshakable gaze of someone who finds themselves feeling as if they know you, looking at a shell of what you aren’t. I knew I couldn’t get better here, that I needed to sink away slowly. The expectation and the fear, that I would lose control, if I stopped taking medication […]