Oh relationship anarchy, you always get me. I had almost forgotten the peace you bring me. I love the freedom to create relationships as I see fit. Usually relationship anarachy is associated with polyamory or non-monogamy but my choice to belong completely to my polyamarous fiance still falls under this unconventional definition. Our power exchange relationship is something we built together, completely unique to us. Right now, the calling to be only his is louder than anything and the most anarchist thing I can do is listen to that calling with my whole heart.
Relationship Anarchy can be a lot of things, it can be taking on a parenting role to the children of friends or metamours. It can mean having relationships that avoid the escalator of having a relationship go through expected societal steps. It can be building a relationship around caregiving or a diversity of indescribable possibilities.
I was feeling a loss of identity with my shift away from polyamory towards monogamy for myself. But relationship anarachy catches me like a soft net. It craddles around me and reminds me its ok to do my own thing, to follow my own rules and be myself.
I’ve invested a lot into polyamory over the years, even have a polyamory tattoo I can now laugh at. It could also just mean infinite love. Its on my ring finger. I guess this means I need to get an R.A. tattoo too.
The thing about love is that you can’t put it in a box. It spills over constantly; it is fluid and breaks down walls. I believe relationship anarchy is just letting love do it’s work, letting connections forge themselves, allowing relationships to take unexpected forms. It is viewing my workplace and supervisors as allies instead of governance. R.A. bleeds its way into every part of my life, from work to love to home. It allows friendships to be like distant callings that we still hold onto. It is mourning lost loves for eons, as I hold a tattoo for my late boyfriend on my back and invite his family to my wedding. It is making your own family in the face of exclusion anf exile from your birth family. It is the maintenance or ending of estranged relationships, depending on your needs and desires. It is filling up with love all the gaps that exist in society. It is allowing niche relationships to form.
Rigid forms and boxes give me anxiety, expectations feel like chains. My life will have none of those chains except for ones I choose.