it was unjust

You can feel it, the unshakable gaze of someone who finds themselves feeling as if they know you, looking at a shell of what you aren’t. I knew I couldn’t get better here, that I needed to sink away slowly. The expectation and the fear, that I would lose control, if I stopped taking medication […]

Honouring Mental Illness

I was raped by three different people with schizophrenia. I have bipolar and am neurodivergant (a vague and overarching term for nuances I could work through to no end, but includes an executive functioning deficit which affects my ability to sort thoughts in my head and slower processing time for events). There’s two contrasting and […]

when openness is safety & honesty is learning

Shame and secrecy shut me down. I was raised with a very specific way of being which did not serve me. The paradox of being held in cognitive dissonance when who I was did not align with who I was supposed to nor what society expected of me and when those expectations didn’t make sense […]

Recovering from Love(?) Addiction

Polyamory offers a simple allure: love freely and wildly. At least, this is what it was to me. But if my heart beats to a rhythm of a 24 hour clock then there is only so much romance to give. I realize, in our world of hyper connection, internet friends and all that is 7 […]

Vegan Failures

I get it. I get what we need to do, no compromises, blah blah blah. But a year into my veganism, I was suicidal, barely able to feed myself and the food at work was often cheap or free, but not vegan. Eventually, I had to be a survivaltarian. It wasn’t an easy choice nor […]